I Had No Clue This Blog Post Was So Stunning. I Was Left In Tears.

Posted By Debbie on February 18, 2015

The art of headline writing is now the non-art of using the words, “stunning,” “stunned,” “can’t believe,” “moved to/left in tears,” “question everything you know about __________,” “change the way you [do something] forever,” and “restored my faith in humanity.”

Evidently your faith in humanity is often in ruins but is restored by a short video… And then soon in need of restoration once again.

And evidently it takes 16 things supposedly said by somebody you never heard of to rethink everything you believed. I wish we could get people to seriously rethink what they believe by showing them inspirational quotes! That would restore my faith in humanity.

There are also plenty of click-baiters promising that this article will make you laugh, make your day, be a life hack you can’t live without, explode your heart (sounds messy), and all sort of other superlatives.

ScreenHunter_160 Jan. 25 19.06

I plan to avoid anything described as “inhumane.” Maybe if you weren’t clicking to watch videos and read articles about the inhumane, things that can’t be unseen, crime, abuse, and evil, you wouldn’t feel like you need your faith in humanity restored. 🙂

We live in a superlative, high-drama world. We need our sensationalism to be more sensational.

Evidently nobody wants to click on something that says, “Listen to this great teen singer.” We have to be promised we will cry or laugh. What if I just want to hear a singer and NOT experience a roller coaster of emotions? Got anything for me?

No matter how many videos say you’ll be left in tears, I’ve never cried at a viral video. A video has never made my day better. I’ve never felt stunned by a video.

Stop Everything You Are Doing Now & Watch the Budweiser Super Bowl Ad Guaranteed to Melt Your Heart

That was the link that was in my Facebook feed as I’m writing this blog post. Stop everything I’m doing? This must be urgent like an Amber Alert or weather warning. And thanks but my heart isn’t frozen. If it were, I’m not sure a beer commercial with a wet dog would cure me.

I love when they say “guaranteed.” I’m often thinking, “Who do I call or write to to collect on this guarantee? My heart didn’t melt, I wasn’t left in tears, I’m stunless, and my faith in humanity is the same. What’s the guarantee exactly?”

This shocked everyone. Are you kidding me? Who does this? This was SO amazing OMG. Literally.

Hopefully as Facebook rolls out their new feature that lets people mark these articles as lame or hoaxes, this practice will die down.